Our Unstructured Un-schooling to structured Home Education Journey:
Part 1
**Our opinion is based on experience. We are well aware that unschooling can work in certain conditions.**
We we went to many groups, and had many people tell us how bad it was to do "school at home" or to regulate what the kids did or to try and "force" them to do worksheets etc
This came especially when we asked in groups/meet ups about curriculum, learning styles and what evidence of work they had. They said that kids should be allowed to choose what to do and that we - in facilitating - should follow their lead. This was very new for us. While this went against the grain for us for many reasons, we decided to be scientific about it and try it. We unschooled, well... sort of. We followed the child's interests. We took down our routine (apart from when going to work), and we just did what the kids wanted to do; because again we were told that we had to follow the kids interests and not tell them what to do as that is "traumatic"... - To eat what the kids want. - To watch what the kids want to watch - And to NOT tell them off when they were rude or misbehaving. |
Unschooling Definition:Unschooling is an educational method and philosophy that rejects compulsory school as a primary means for learning. Unschoolers learn through their natural life experiences including play, game play, household responsibilities, personal interests and curiosity, internships and work experience, travel, books, elective classes, family, mentors, and social interaction. Unschooling encourages exploration of activities initiated by the children themselves, believing that the more personal learning is, the more meaningful, well-understood and therefore useful it is to the child. While courses may occasionally be taken, unschooling questions the usefulness of standard curricula, conventional grading methods, and other features of traditional schooling in maximizing the education of each unique child. |
(Yes, I had people tell us this... quite aggressively too - Ironic...) That we couldn't be too strict or punish them - because children are little people and deserve the same respect as an adult... Ok, so lets try this...
This was all new to us - we were both brought up by strict parents - but in the interests of scientific / educational and holistic progress we tried...
So if they kids didn't want to read, do letters, do maths, we just did something else - what they wanted.
So if the day was taken up with Lego and Lego alone (as it often was), so be it.
Or watching Youtube or Netflix all day then according to the Unschoolers (that we met) philosophy, that was fine - and we did it. We talked about the subjects we watched and tried to learn as much as we could without using traditional worksheet or graded methods! We followed this learning style, and the the idea is that the kids could retain information about stuff they liked. It sounded very good...
So, we could not see written/workbook results like in school; that was kind of the point - not worrying about those things - not sitting them down etc.
However what we started seeing was a decline in behaviour and other certain pre-taught skills... They stopped being helpful like they used to be, they stopped responding nicely, started fighting more but on the other hand they became very good at Lego and puzzles... But they couldn't identify letters and numbers and were becoming reclusive. During the day (as I worked) Ligia watched stuff with them, took them out for walks and to parks, tried different activities but the kids were just not the same... this was stressing my wife. She had gone from having 3 little helpers who assisted in all things, who were polite and gentle and even articulate to having three little people who became whingey and whiny fighting moody kids who she was basically having to serve at all times...
We tried - for 3 years and a bit - to follow and improve using this method and to "guide" the kids without being like what unschoolers called: overbearing/tyrannical parents. (Or helicopter Parents) To give suggestions and let them decide if they wanted to do stuff. To un-restrict their screen time, and their bedtimes.
This complete freedom resulted absolute mayhem - for all of us.
Us suggesting that they only watch one or 2 episodes and then go and do something else was met with complaints. So we allowed them to stay watching. Guess what happened? They binge watched entire series, one after the other and would re-watch the same things if it meant not having to do anything else - unless that was lego.
It was always bothering me and Ligia that it wasn't quite right for us though...
Then enter the final straw:
I met a unschooler at a home-Ed meet and greet. Lovely guy and family. Chatted for quite a while.
But his his lovely 11 year old daughter didn't know how to read. Or write. in fact she was desperately trying to learn because others her age and home educated were reading harry potter and the like and she felt she was missing out. She was not learning out of learning pleasure. Rather out of fear of missing out and being ridiculed.
This alarmed us quite a lot...
He proudly told us how she was really good with maths, and puzzles but just didn't like writing or reading. Her passion was art.
As much as we love art (and now have a VERY artistic daughter) this "they-don't-need-to-learn-anything-they-don't-want-to" attitude we found concerning and felt there was something seriously missing in our life. Things were coming to a head...
We took a good hard look at our outcome of child-lead-unschooling where the child decided what to do or not do.
What to eat and not to eat etc and we decided this was not a suitable path for us, and saw no evidence of true improvement for the children or us...
We planned our cycle trip that we have spoken about on the rest of our blog, changed our routine (as in actually had one) and made our escape from everything and hit the road in search of enlightenment...
This was all new to us - we were both brought up by strict parents - but in the interests of scientific / educational and holistic progress we tried...
So if they kids didn't want to read, do letters, do maths, we just did something else - what they wanted.
So if the day was taken up with Lego and Lego alone (as it often was), so be it.
Or watching Youtube or Netflix all day then according to the Unschoolers (that we met) philosophy, that was fine - and we did it. We talked about the subjects we watched and tried to learn as much as we could without using traditional worksheet or graded methods! We followed this learning style, and the the idea is that the kids could retain information about stuff they liked. It sounded very good...
So, we could not see written/workbook results like in school; that was kind of the point - not worrying about those things - not sitting them down etc.
However what we started seeing was a decline in behaviour and other certain pre-taught skills... They stopped being helpful like they used to be, they stopped responding nicely, started fighting more but on the other hand they became very good at Lego and puzzles... But they couldn't identify letters and numbers and were becoming reclusive. During the day (as I worked) Ligia watched stuff with them, took them out for walks and to parks, tried different activities but the kids were just not the same... this was stressing my wife. She had gone from having 3 little helpers who assisted in all things, who were polite and gentle and even articulate to having three little people who became whingey and whiny fighting moody kids who she was basically having to serve at all times...
We tried - for 3 years and a bit - to follow and improve using this method and to "guide" the kids without being like what unschoolers called: overbearing/tyrannical parents. (Or helicopter Parents) To give suggestions and let them decide if they wanted to do stuff. To un-restrict their screen time, and their bedtimes.
This complete freedom resulted absolute mayhem - for all of us.
Us suggesting that they only watch one or 2 episodes and then go and do something else was met with complaints. So we allowed them to stay watching. Guess what happened? They binge watched entire series, one after the other and would re-watch the same things if it meant not having to do anything else - unless that was lego.
It was always bothering me and Ligia that it wasn't quite right for us though...
Then enter the final straw:
I met a unschooler at a home-Ed meet and greet. Lovely guy and family. Chatted for quite a while.
But his his lovely 11 year old daughter didn't know how to read. Or write. in fact she was desperately trying to learn because others her age and home educated were reading harry potter and the like and she felt she was missing out. She was not learning out of learning pleasure. Rather out of fear of missing out and being ridiculed.
This alarmed us quite a lot...
He proudly told us how she was really good with maths, and puzzles but just didn't like writing or reading. Her passion was art.
As much as we love art (and now have a VERY artistic daughter) this "they-don't-need-to-learn-anything-they-don't-want-to" attitude we found concerning and felt there was something seriously missing in our life. Things were coming to a head...
We took a good hard look at our outcome of child-lead-unschooling where the child decided what to do or not do.
What to eat and not to eat etc and we decided this was not a suitable path for us, and saw no evidence of true improvement for the children or us...
We planned our cycle trip that we have spoken about on the rest of our blog, changed our routine (as in actually had one) and made our escape from everything and hit the road in search of enlightenment...